IFS for EDD: Understanding Emotion Dysregulation Disorder (Formerly BPD)

Emotion Dysregulation Disorder (EDD), previously known as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), is a complex mental health condition described in the latest edition of the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11). EDD is often misunderstood and carries a lot of stigma.

Finding the right treatment for EDD can be challenging, but Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a different, non-judgmental approach. This method provides many people with hope, healing, and validation while navigating the intense emotions and behaviors that come with the condition.

What is Internal Family Systems Therapy?

IFS is an evidence-based therapeutic model that views the mind as naturally composed of multiple sub-personalities or "parts." These parts work together as an internal family system, each with its own unique perspective, beliefs, memories, and motivations. Some parts are stuck in the past, carrying burdens from difficult life experiences. Other parts serve as protectors, working hard to safeguard the system from further pain, often in ways that are ultimately counterproductive.

The core principle of IFS is that every part has a positive intent, even if its actions or effects are causing distress. All parts are welcome, and the goal is not to eliminate parts but to help them find healthier, more harmonious roles within the internal system.

Understanding Emotion Dysregulation Disorder Through an IFS Lens

From an IFS perspective, the emotional storms, impulsivity, and relational turmoil that characterize EDD are not seen as evidence of a flawed character or broken brain. Instead, these symptoms are viewed as the predictable effects of an internal system that has been overwhelmed by trauma, neglect, or invalidation, often dating back to childhood.

The hallmark symptoms of EDD - intense emotional reactivity, fears of abandonment, an unstable sense of self - are understood as the efforts of protective parts that are working overtime to shield the individual from further wounding. These protectors often carry outdated or extreme beliefs that were once necessary for survival, but are no longer serving the person in the present.

The Devastating Impact of Invalidation

Prolonged invalidation is a key risk factor for developing EDD. Many people with this condition report histories of chronic emotional invalidation from parents, caregivers, or other influential figures. This invalidation can take many forms:

• Dismissing or minimizing emotions: "You're overreacting," "It's not a big deal," "Suck it up."

• Punishing or shaming displays of feeling: "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about," "You're being dramatic."

• Inconsistent responses to emotional needs: warm and supportive one moment, cold and dismissive the next.

• Neglecting or ignoring emotional distress: failing to provide comfort, leaving a child to "cry it out."

• Gaslighting: denying a person's perceptions, making them doubt their own reality.

Over time, chronic invalidation teaches individuals to mistrust their own emotions. Parts learn that their feelings are unacceptable, even dangerous. A deep sense of shame and defectiveness takes root. Protective parts increasingly resort to extreme measures to manage a chronically overwhelmed internal system - all hallmarks of EDD.

The Power of a Non-Pathologizing Approach

One of the most therapeutic gifts IFS offers people with EDD is its compassionate, non-pathologizing stance.

While some traditional approaches frame this condition as a life sentence of defectiveness, IFS views EDD as a manifestation of parts that are doing their very best to protect the individual from an onslaught of intolerable pain. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with the person with EDD; they've just been wounded in ways that have left their parts stuck in protective roles.

This radical reframe is tremendously validating and empowering for people with EDD. Instead of being seen (and seeing themselves) as "borderline," they come to understand their internal landscape as an understandable product of their life experiences. Shame begins to give way to self-understanding and self-compassion.

Key Aspects of IFS Work for Emotion Dysregulation Disorder

Building Trust and Safety

Building trust and rapport is paramount in IFS work with EDD. Many people with this condition have had experiences in therapy and in life that have left them feeling blamed, misunderstood, even abandoned. IFS therapists work hard to create a real experience of safety and acceptance in the therapeutic relationship. They're trained to track signs of protector activation and continually monitor the individual's capacity to engage with charged emotions or memories.

Progress is titrated at a pace the protectors can tolerate. There's no pressure to rush into trauma material or push past resistance. The therapist operates with the understanding that even the most challenging parts are valuable and well-intentioned, adopting an attitude of "all parts are welcome."

Identifying and Honoring Protectors

People struggling with EDD typically have an array of powerful protector parts that work around the clock to keep a lid on an emotional pressure cooker. These might include parts that:

• Lash out in rage to keep people at a distance

• Resort to self-harm to regulate emotional intensity

• Numb out with substances or dissociation

• Attack the self with brutal criticism

• Micromanage others to maintain a sense of control

• Cling to or chase after love interests to avoid abandonment

While these protective responses are often the very behaviors that bring people into therapy, IFS contends that protectors can't be bullied out of their roles. Trying to eliminate them without first understanding them tends to make them dig in their heels.

Instead, IFS therapists approach protectors with genuine curiosity and appreciation. They help the client get to know each protector's "origin story": what it fears, how it tries to help, what it wants more than anything.

With enough patience, validation, and consistent "being seen," even the most intimidating protectors start to relax. As they begin to trust that their concerns are being taken seriously, they become more open to experimenting with new roles.

Accessing Self Energy

Beneath the surface churn of an EDD parts system, IFS maintains that there is an undamaged essence called the Self. The Self is characterized by the "8 Cs": calmness, curiosity, clarity, compassion, confidence, creativity, courage, and connectedness. Though this essence is often obscured for people with EDD, IFS teaches that it can never be damaged - only blocked by protective parts.

IFS sessions often involve helping parts to "unblend" from the Self, releasing their extreme roles for long enough for the client to experience their innate capacities for grounded presence. This might involve:

• Asking parts to "step back" temporarily

• Helping parts relax with breathing or visualization

• Guiding attention to any glimmers of Self energy that already present

Even a few moments of embodied Self energy can be transformative for people used to being chronically flooded or shut down. It provides concrete, experiential evidence of their wholeness and lays the foundation for a new way of being.

Unburdening Exiled Parts

Much of the emotional pain and reactivity in EDD stems from "exiled" parts - often very young parts that carry the shame, terror, or despair of childhood trauma. These parts are often so burdened by painful experiences that protectors have had to exile them out of conscious awareness.

With a great deal of compassion and patience, IFS can help individuals develop a direct relationship to these wounded parts. This reconnection occurs gradually, and only with the full consent and cooperation of the protectors.

The therapist helps the client to witness the exile's story, feel the fullness of their pain, and validate how overwhelming their experiences were. These younger parts are then invited to release the burdens they've been carrying, often through imagery or role-play. Unburdening allows exiles to finally move out of traumatic trance and into the safety of the here-and-now Self.

The Gifts of IFS for Emotion Dysregulation Disorder

The IFS model offers profound gifts for people struggling with EDD:

Radical Acceptance

By relating to parts with curiosity and compassion, no matter how destructive they may seem, IFS models radical acceptance. For people with EDD who have often been judged or pathologized, receiving this level of unconditional positive regard from another person can be a deeply corrective experience. Over time, this acceptance is gradually internalized, leading to greater self-compassion.

Emotional Mastery

As individuals with EDD build a trusting, appreciative relationship with their parts, they gain an intimate understanding of their internal world. They learn to recognize the subtle signs of protector activation, catching flare-ups before they take over. They discover that they can turn toward their most vulnerable parts with care and compassion, rather than shoving them away. Gradually, emotion becomes less of an enemy to be conquered and more of an ally to be respected.

Confident Boundaries

EDD often involves an agonizing conflict between a desperate need for connection and an abject terror of rejection or engulfment. Parts tend to swing between extremes - clinging and pursuing in one moment, pushing away or lashing out in the next.

As unburdened parts come to trust the leadership of Self energy, they can begin to relax this life-or-death grip on relationships. The individual becomes clearer about their authentic needs and desires, and more confident in expressing them directly. Healthier boundaries naturally emerge.

An Integrated Self

At the heart of EDD is a fragmented sense of self - a feeling of being scattered, even empty at the core. With IFS, this internal disconnection begins to heal. Burdens are lifted, protectors unclench their hypervigilant grip, exiles come home to the warmth of Self-leadership. A flexible, resilient experience of self emerges - a self that remains steady and whole even in the face of life's inevitable ups and downs.

IFS Practices for BPD

While working with a qualified IFS therapist yields the most transformative results, there are ways to begin implementing IFS concepts into your self-care:

Meeting Your Parts with PACE

Practice cultivating curiosity about your parts, especially the ones that cause you the most trouble. When you notice an intense emotion or destructive urge, see if you can greet it with PACE: Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy.

Instead of automatically reacting or pushing the feeling away, meet it with a light, open, even humorous attitude. Remind your parts: "I'm not mad at you. I'm just curious what role you're trying to play to help our system."

Unblending Through Self-Talk

When you're caught in emotional overwhelm, try speaking to your parts as if they were separate from you. Use language like, "I can see you're feeling so scared right now" or "I hear how angry you are, and I'm here." Even if you're not sure which part is activated, simply naming your internal experience as something distinct from your whole self can help create space and perspective.

Strengthening Your Self

Look for opportunities in daily life to embody Self energy in small ways. Experiment with meeting challenging moments with compassionate attention, setting limits with calm confidence, or relating to others with genuine curiosity. These are all ways of reminding your parts that you have what it takes to lead them, even when the seas get stormy.

Frequently Asked Questions:

What is Emotion Dysregulation Disorder (EDD)?

Emotion Dysregulation Disorder (EDD) is the new name for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) in the ICD-11. It is a complex mental health condition characterized by intense emotional reactivity, unstable relationships, impulsivity, and a fragile sense of self. People with EDD often struggle with chronic feelings of emptiness, fears of abandonment, and difficulty regulating emotions.

Why was the name changed from BPD to EDD?

The name was changed to reduce stigma and more accurately reflect the core features of the disorder. "Borderline Personality Disorder" is a highly stigmatizing label that implies a defective character. "Emotion Dysregulation Disorder" shifts the focus to the primary issue: difficulty managing intense emotions. This name change aligns with efforts in the mental health field to use language that is descriptive rather than judgmental.

What causes Emotion Dysregulation Disorder?

EDD is thought to arise from a combination of biological vulnerability and invalidating childhood environments. Many people with EDD have histories of trauma, abuse, or chronic invalidation of their emotional needs. These painful experiences can overwhelm the developing nervous system, leading to difficulties with emotion regulation, self-concept, and relationships.

How does IFS understand EDD?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) views the symptoms of EDD as the manifestation of an overwhelmed internal system of "parts." These parts are not pathological, but rather are doing their best to protect the individual from intolerable pain, often in ways that are ultimately counterproductive. IFS focuses on healing the underlying wounds that keep these parts stuck in extreme roles.

What are the key concepts of IFS?

Some of the key concepts of IFS include:

• Multiplicity: the idea that our minds are naturally composed of multiple sub-personalities or "parts"

• Self: the concept of an undamaged core essence characterized by qualities like curiosity, compassion, and calm

• Protectors: parts that serve to safeguard the system, often by managing external situations or warding off painful feelings

• Exiles: wounded parts that carry the pain of past traumas and are often suppressed by protectors

• Unburdening: the process of helping exiles to release the painful beliefs and emotions they carry from the past

How does IFS therapy work?

In IFS therapy, the therapist helps the client to develop a relationship of curiosity and compassion with their internal parts. Sessions often involve:

• Getting to know protectors and appreciating their efforts to help

• Developing Self leadership to create a sense of internal safety

• Witnessing the stories of exiles and validating their pain

• Unburdening exiles so they can release their extreme roles

• Facilitating greater harmony and collaboration between parts

Progress occurs not by eliminating parts but by helping them to transform their roles and find a sense of inner peace.

What makes IFS a good fit for people with EDD?

IFS is particularly well-suited to treating EDD because it:

• Provides an understanding of EDD symptoms that does not label them as a disorder or abnormality

• Emphasizes the development of self-compassion and self-acceptance

• Teaches practical skills for regulating intense emotions

• Heals the attachment wounds and traumatic injuries often at the root of EDD

• Fosters a more coherent, integrated sense of self

The IFS model provides a compassionate roadmap for navigating the often stormy internal world of EDD.

Can IFS help with EDD if I don't have access to therapy?

While working with a trained IFS therapist is ideal, there are many ways to begin applying IFS principles as a self-help tool. This might involve:

• Becoming curious about your parts and learning to recognize their voices

• Practicing unblending from parts before reacting to strong emotions

• Extending compassion to your most troubling parts, knowing they have good intentions

• Accessing Self energy through meditation or self-care practices

• Reading books or listening to recordings about IFS to deepen your understanding

Any step toward greater self-understanding and self-compassion can make a meaningful difference for those struggling with EDD.

How long does IFS therapy take?

The length of IFS therapy varies depending on the individual and the complexity of their internal system. Significant progress can often be made within a few months of weekly therapy, but deeply entrenched patterns may take longer to shift. Many people find that IFS provides a long-term framework for personal growth and continue to work with the model for many years.

Where can I find an IFS therapist?

The IFS Institute website maintains a directory of certified IFS therapists around the world. Psychology Today also allows you to search for therapists by modality, including IFS. When contacting potential therapists, feel free to ask about their level of training and experience with both IFS and EDD.

What if I'm not sure if IFS is right for me?

If you resonate with the concepts of IFS but aren't sure if it's the right approach for you, consider trying a few sessions with a certified IFS therapist. Many therapists offer free consultations to help you get a sense of fit. Remember, the therapeutic relationship is the most important factor for success in therapy. Look for a therapist who helps you feel safe, seen, and respected - one who earns the trust of even your most skeptical parts.

Finding Freedom from BPD

Living with the pain and turmoil of Emotion Dysregulation Disorder can be a lonely, demoralizing road. But healing is possible - and IFS lights the way with its radical compassion and profound trust in the human spirit.

By approaching your parts with genuine empathy and appreciation, you can begin to transform your inner world at the deepest levels. Punishing self-criticism eases its grip; self-understanding blossoms. Gradually, even your most troubled parts can learn to trust your innate wholeness and resilience.

This is not an easy path, and it's not a quick fix. The wounds that lead to EDD often date back to the earliest moments of life; they need time, care, and extraordinary gentleness to heal. But every moment of turning toward your parts with curiosity is a victory. Every step in the direction of embodied Self-leadership is a powerful act of self-reclamation.

Hope and healing are not only possible for EDD - they are your birthright. With enough patience and self-compassion, the turbulent waters of your inner world can and will settle.

The scattered parts of you can come together, building a flexible, resilient internal community. And most precious of all, the unshakable essence of you - the Self you've always been beneath the surface of your struggling parts - can finally come home to itself.