5 Exercises to Cultivate 'Self Energy' in Your IFS Practice
In the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, the concept of the "Self" plays a central role in healing and personal growth.
The Self is not a part, but rather the core essence of who we are - the grounded, compassionate, wise center of our being. When we're anchored in Self, we have access to a profound inner resources for resilience, clarity and unconditional love.
The 8 C's of Self
IFS recognizes eight key qualities that arise naturally when we're embodying Self:
Calmness: a deep inner peace and tranquility, even in the midst of life's storms.
Curiosity: a genuine, non-judgmental interest in learning about our inner world.
Compassion: an open-hearted tenderness and concern for the suffering of ourselves and others.
Clarity: the ability to see the truth of a situation without distortion or denial.
Courage: the grit and determination to face our fears and take meaningful action.
Creativity: an inspired, imaginative approach to problem-solving and self-expression.
Connectedness: a sense of profound belonging to the web of life, even when we feel alone.
Confidence: an unshakable trust in our innate wholeness and capability.
When we're anchored in Self, these qualities arise effortlessly. We don't need to strive or strain to embody them - they're our natural state beneath the noise of our parts.
The 5 P's of Self
In addition to the 8 C's, IFS also identifies five essential ways the Self shows up in our lives:
Presence: the capacity to be fully, attentively here in the present moment.
Patience: the ability to welcome the organic unfolding of our growth without rushing or forcing.
Persistence: the steadfast commitment to our healing, even when the path is challenging.
Perspective: the expansive wisdom to see the bigger picture and not get lost in the details.
Playfulness: the joyful, spontaneous, light-hearted energy that brings levity and laughter.
These five P's describe the way we engage with life when Self is in the lead. They flavor our relationships, our work, our creative and spiritual lives.
Embodying Self to Heal Our Parts
Our protective parts can't heal on their own - they need to experience being truly seen and held by Self. This is because many of our parts carry burdens from the past, when they didn't have access to a grounded, loving part of us that could help them feel safe and supported.
In IFS, we cultivate Self-to-part relationships by first accessing Self in our own system. Often this happens naturally when we simply slow down, take a few breaths and gently notice what's happening inside. As we welcome our inner experience with curiosity and compassion, our parts naturally begin to relax and trust.
We can deepen our embodiment of Self by practicing the 8 C's and 5 P's in our daily lives. Whenever we notice a part is activated, we can take a moment to reconnect with the qualities of calmness, curiosity and compassion. We can invite patience and perspective into our inner dialogue. We can engage playfully and creatively with our parts, looking for opportunities to befriend and appreciate them.
As we practice Self-leadership, our inner family learns that we can be a stable, loving presence for them no matter what arises. We develop what's called "earned secure attachment," the unshakable knowing that we belong to ourselves and can tend to our own needs. This inner sense of safety transforms our external relationships and empowers us to take bold, meaningful action in the world.
The Essence of Transformation
At its heart, IFS is a spiritual philosophy as much as a therapeutic approach. It invites us to commune with the radiant essence at our core - the Self that is untouched by trauma and knows our innate beauty, wisdom and wholeness. In the spaciousness of Self, the burdens we've carried for so long can finally be released.
This isn't a linear process with a clear beginning, middle and end. We're invited to patiently welcome all the messy, nonlinear ways our inner family expresses and transforms. With practice, Self-energy becomes more than something we access occasionally - it infuses our entire way of being.
Renowned IFS founder Dick Schwartz teaches that Self is our true nature, the boundless presence and awareness that's been here all along. It can never be damaged or destroyed, only obscured. In times of struggle, we can take great comfort in remembering that no matter how lost we feel, the light of Self is always shining through the storm.
Attuning to this unbreakable aliveness is the ultimate medicine our parts have been searching for. In the embrace of Self, our inner family can finally come home. We discover that the love, safety and belonging we've ached for resides in the one place we can never lose it - the infinite tenderness of our own awakening hearts. The greatest gift of IFS is reconnecting to this wellspring of healing that's available in every moment, no matter what our external conditions.
Exercises for Cultivating Self Energy in IFS
Here are some powerful exercises for cultivating Self energy in IFS:
1. Breathing into Self
One of the simplest and most effective ways to access Self is through conscious breathing. Wherever you are, take a few moments to pause and bring your attention to your breath. Notice the sensation of the air moving in and out of your nostrils, the gentle rise and fall of your chest.
As you breathe, silently repeat a phrase that resonates with the qualities of Self, such as "I am calm," "I am curious," or "I am compassionate." Feel free to experiment with different words until you find ones that evoke a felt sense of spaciousness and groundedness.
2. Self-Led Body Scan
This exercise combines mindfulness and Self-energy to help you cultivate a loving relationship with your physical being. Find a comfortable position, either seated or lying down. Take a few deep breaths, and then begin to scan your attention slowly through your body, starting at the crown of your head and moving all the way down to your toes.
As you notice each part of your body, welcome it with the energy of Self. You might silently say, "I see you, left foot. I'm here with you." Notice any sensations, tensions or feelings that arise, and meet them with gentle curiosity and acceptance. If you encounter areas of discomfort or pain, breathe into them with extra tenderness, imagining the warm light of Self soothing and softening any contracted places.
3. Inner Dialogue with Parts
This exercise invites you to practice Self-leadership by engaging in loving dialogue with your parts. Begin by bringing to mind a part of you that feels challenging or misunderstood. It might be an anxious part, an angry part, or a part that feels wounded. Take a few breaths, and then imagine this part is sitting across from you, embodied as a person or creature.
From the energy of Self, begin a conversation with this part. You might ask it questions like, "What do you want me to know about you? What are you afraid would happen if you didn't play this role? What do you need from me to feel safe and appreciated?" Listen carefully to the part's responses, meeting it with compassion and openness. Let the part know that it's welcome to share all its feelings and fears, and that you're committed to building a trust-filled relationship.
4. Self-Guided Meditation
This exercise uses visualization to deepen your embodiment of Self. Find a quiet place where you feel comfortable closing your eyes. Take a few breaths, and then imagine you're in a beautiful, peaceful place in nature. It might be a lush forest, a serene beach, or a tranquil mountain meadow. Allow yourself to fully arrive in this place, noticing the details of your surroundings.
As you explore this inner landscape, imagine that you encounter a wise, loving being who embodies the qualities of Self. This might be a spiritual figure, an ancestor, or simply a radiant presence.
Take some time to dialog with this being, sharing your fears, doubts and desires. Notice how it listens to you with complete acceptance and empathy. Feel the palpable energy of unconditional love emanating from its being.
When you feel ready, imagine that this loving presence dissolves into light and merges with your own being. Feel the qualities of Self infusing every cell of your body. Take a few moments to marinate in this expansive energy, and then gently open your eyes.
5. Self-Energy in Daily Life
Cultivating Self is an ongoing practice that extends beyond formal exercises. Look for opportunities to embody the 8 C's and 5 P's as you move through your day. When you're in a challenging conversation, take a breath and access curiosity. When you're feeling overwhelmed, slow down and invite calmness into your being.
Notice when your parts get activated, and practice meeting them with compassion rather than judgment. Remind yourself that every experience is an opportunity to strengthen your Self-to-part relationships. Over time, you'll develop the capacity to hold more and more of your internal experience with loving awareness.
Remember, cultivating Self is a lifelong journey, not a destination. There's no finish line or perfect state to achieve. The goal is simply to keep showing up for yourself with presence, patience and care.
Trust that every moment of practice is planting seeds of healing that will blossom in their own organic timing. With Self in the lead, you have everything you need to navigate the twists and turns of your unique path.